oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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