I hate your face
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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