I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
