Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
