maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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