the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
