I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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