with your own penis?
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
