she was so not down for the gang bang
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
