can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
