It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
