i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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