And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
