you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
