Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
