she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
