these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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