So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
