we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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