i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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