Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
