I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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