I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
