just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
