just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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