Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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