I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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