thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
