Jerry, you need to find god
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
