Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
