i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
