you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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