he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
