She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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