So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
