why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
