i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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