remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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