scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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