i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
