I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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