THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
