I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
