ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
