I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
