god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
