i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
