who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
