Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
