I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
