We won't sleep together?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize