i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
