I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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