Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
