what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
