i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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