Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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