Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
