Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
