wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
