sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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