I wish I could punch you in the face.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
