Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
