I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
