Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
