how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
